Will and the Orphans
by Hazmat997
Summary: Will the Yordle must go against Panda and save the Orphans!


Once upon a time, in a far away land of...America, Two people were talking. For the sake of Legal reasons I will call them Will and Panda.

The pair were strolling along a path one day, chatting idly as the sun became heavy in the sky, casting an orange light on the world as the day drew to a close. Coming to the end of the path the two decided to split ways, but just before Panda walked three steps Will quickly grabbed his shoulder, wrenching him around.

"Panda!" Exclaimed Will

"What?" shouted Panda in a rather mocking way

"I have just thought of the best idea ever!" Will almost screamed as he hopped around from excitement.

Puzzled Panda looks at his friend "Well, what is it?"

Unable to contain his excitement Will burst out "We need to save all the Orphans in the world! And I know how!"

Panda rolls his eyes, another one of Will's crazy schemes "Fine, what plan have you got this time?"

A small shimmer of light played across Will's eyes "What we do, is we gather all the Orphans, in the whole world, and we put them on an island!" He shouted the last word in triumph, celebrating his own genius

Rubbing his temples Panda just groaned "And how will you do that?"

Will Shrugged "I don't know, a big net or something?"

Shaking his head Panda walked off, leaving will to ponder over the dynamics and mathematics of how big a net he would need for all the Orphans in the world.

Later that week Panda was awaken in he middle of the night, his phone buzzing in the corner of his room like an angry wasp

"What is it?" He groaned into the phone as he sluggishly answered the call

"It's me" A small but distinct voice answered

"Will?! This is the third time this week I swear to god..." Panda started

"No no no, it's not like the other times I swear" Will pleaded

"Well GET ON WITH IT" Panda yelled down the phone, showing his obvious frustration with Will

"I've done it" A small whisper replied

"What?" The anger started to melt away but the underlying tone of rage was still there

"I did it" Will repeated "It's done, they're there. All the Orphans are really there!" A small sequel of delight could be heard after the sentence

"How.. Did... What.. When...Will...uhhhhhhh" Ending the call Panda trudged back off to bed in an attempt to get at least an hours sleep tonight.

The first ray of sunlight shone brilliantly through a crack in Panda's curtains(or drapes or what ever you call it), shining down directly onto his face

"Bloody sun get lost!" Standing up he tore the curtains together to blot out the light, but now he was wide awake. Cursing WIll and his stupid Orphans he grumbled to him self. Opening the door to his room he walked out slowly, dragging his feet along the floor from his sheer exhaustion, three sleepless nights thanks to WIll and those bloody Orphans!

Moving along the top floor he finally comes to the landing of the stairs, sighing he starts to dutifully make his way down, but after a single step his body simply gave up, collapsing in on its self as he tumbled down step upon step on his way down the ground floor.

Hitting the wooden tiles with a thump he howls in pain, cursing the day he was born, but his howls of pain soon became shouts of blood lust. Latching onto the idea that it was all Will and those Orphans fault he picks himself up, slamming open the front door and storming over to Wills house (still in his My little Kitty onesie)

Kicking in the door he charges in, searching for Will and the two or three Orphans that he had claimed where the world, that must have been it, he couldn't have actually done it.

"Where are you Will? I'm gona find you, and then I'm gona make you watch as I kill every single one of the blasted orphans!"

Moving up the stairs he breaks down Will's bedroom door only to stumble on something incredible. Blue prints scattered across everysurface, diagrams and dioramas of nets and children were strewn about everywhere. In the middle of the furthest wall, the crowing jewel of the room, a Picture of will, and behind him, thousands upon thousands of children, all smiling and waving"

Taking a step back Panda shakes his head.

"No, no he couldn't have done it.. Could he?"

Looking around drastically he finds only one thing, one word...

Australia

Back at home Panda rushes to his computer, quickly sending and E-mail to Will

I know were you are, I know what you have done, and I swear to god that I will find you, and I will find them, and I will kill them, slowly, painfully, intimately, in ways you didn't know even existed...

The email went on in that similar fashion for about 10001 pages, roughly

Upon receiving this email Will panics, thinking only of the children he did what any sane man would do, he went to the forge.

Ripping off his shirt, revealing the rippling mass of muscle and chest hair he worked day and night, forging a great sword, the largest the world had ever seen, dwarfed only by his own trouser snake.

50 days and 50 nights he toiled on this sword, making it and wide, as hard and as long as it was needed.

On the 51st day he emerged... Well sort of, asking walking for a mile or so he finally managed to get the blasted sword out of the place, heaving it on his shoulder as if it were a baguette and not a B.F.S.

Bringing the mighty blade high he plunged the metal into the earth, carving out great swathes of land, tearing Australia asunder, breaking it into billions upon billions of islands, and on one of these Islands, these safe havens, he placed the Orphans

"Sit tight little ones, no one can hurt you now"

Back in America Panda had finally managed to get enough money to buy a boat, and so he did, sailing across the ocean in search of the Orphans, but what he came to find was something he did not like. Billions of islands, anyone of which could be hiding the children.

Fuming Panda turned around, heading back for America. There was work to be done

Several Months later he returned, followed by a fleet of captured military vessels as well as the arsenal that came with them. He set about carving a path through the islands, determined to find the Orphans and their protector, Will

Upon hearing this Will set about hatching a new plan, something ingenious, something smart, something not dumb. Whilst pondering over this latest conundrum he came across a book, a book entitled "The Lost City Of Atlantis". Suddenly an idea struck him! He could train sharks to kill Panda.. No that was a stupid idea... Maybe... Just maybe... Yes

Will set about his plan, building large glass panes, creating a large dome around the secret island of Orphans that was his. Just in time the work was complete, on the Horizon the mushroom clouds of the latest nuclear strikes by Panda could be seen, the ash falling ontop of the glass dome like thick grey snow. Watching as the island slowly began to sank Will said good bye to his Orphans, good bye to his friends.

Turing around he sat on a jagged spire of rock, looking onwards as Panda closed in, his final stand in his defence of the Orphans


End file.
